“he kind of slithered out of his jeans”

“I contracted the virus back when I was a casual IV drug user”

“If you are like me, and sometimes you get sad”

“I ate him up, three small bites”

“our online relationships are far, far removed from their former status as a separate entity from our real-life relationships”

“He only wanted to know he was alone”

“I chose the outfit to meet with my ex-husband’s hooker”

“people Dostoevsky would have gone to town on”

“I had never experienced the loss of a person through social media”

“We are coming down from molly. We are coming down from our first threesome together.”

“This is chronic pain. This is the fever that never breaks”

“I don’t believe you had any clue you were being a creep”

“just like that, I ate up every heart you ever gave me”

“first surprising things about dating someone of the same sex”

“The last girl I slept with texts: I’m clean. Why? Are you?”

“His skull broke open on the asphalt”

“It’s about the most terrifying thing you could do with another person”

“Utopia or drama-inducing sexcapades?”

“aspirin and Sominex; it’s all there was”

“So strippers were sexy, but not my mom, but my mom was a sexy stripper, but not to me.”