In This Body: Trilogy
“We are coming down from molly. We are coming down from our first threesome together.”
"In This Body" is comprised of true stories about sex, gender, the body, and love, written by Fiona George, for NAILED.
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His naked back laid against my chest, his head on my chest. My legs wrap around his hips. We are coming down from molly. We are coming down from our first threesome together. My first threesome ever. This is our Valentine’s day, the first together. The last? Who knows. A couple of drugged out, sexed out lovers with twelve hours of movie. A fucking Lord of the Rings marathon.
I love this.
Our bodies melt into each other and we are together in lazy silence. I don’t mind that my come-down is euphoric and his is depressive. I’ve heard both are common reactions, there’s nothing I need to worry about. And I like that it’s my chance to take care of him. I stand-up sit-down all day. Acquire food by stovetop or delivery. Refill the water. Change the disk in the three-movie, six-disc trilogy.
I get to hold him when he’s so worn out he feels small. To hold a human being so vulnerable is a privilege. To hold him like that makes the blood vibrate in my veins.
His face from last night in my head. The magic from last night in my head. Pleasure shoots its roots from my pussy down to my toes, up through my nipples to my finger tips. His face, somewhere between a lion over a carcass and a seriously too-cool-for-school greaser dude. Brown eyes that could devour. His jaw moving around with his mouth open. His tongue quick in-out licking at his lips.
She called him a beast. Beast was the only word. I love a lady who picks good words.
How I’d been so worried about bringing another woman to bed with us. It feels silly now. That I thought I’d feel jealous, or ignored, or like she was hotter than me. That maybe this woman would be who he really wanted to be with.
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That party, though. Before the threesome, before the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I did feel ignored. I did feel jealous. All I wanted was for him to look at me. Every time I walked by him, through the room he was in, my eyes over at his face. Just a look back, was all I wanted. A secret second of eye contact to say yes, you are important to me. Waited outside the bathroom door for him to come out. All night trying to get his attention, I basically had to stalk him. Why do I feel like I’m some secret of yours.
It was a useless conversation to have right then. With both of us drunk and stoned and rolling. But he kissed me there like I wasn’t a secret, and that’s all I needed.
Felt so much more seen by him with another body between us. Felt so much closer to him in the pleasure on her face with him inside her from behind. Her on top of me. My mouth to her tits. Someone’s fingers inside me. Those sounds she made, I know what that feels like. I felt it too, watching her face.
My fingers through the shorts of her hair, pull hard as my hands can stand. Her scalp is numb like mine. Her pussy is hairy like mine. And we laugh, girl giggles in the middle of that sweaty body tangle. Blood pumps something through my organs, something that feels like unbelievable happy. Something that feels like we found the perfect partner and I can’t believe we haven’t tried this sooner.
And there are moments, when I catch his eye and we smile at each other in the middle of it all. It was all I needed all night.
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Arwen gives up her elven gift of eternal life for a life with Aragorn. A life that may not last out the trilogy. It is mine to give to who I choose, like my heart. Like my body. During their lover scenes there’s something extra in the way he holds my hand. A squeeze, his thumb moving slow across my open palm. Pleasure shoots roots.
Hold onto that, that knowing that I am important to him. I will need it.
He never pays me any attention when we’re at a big social thing. He says he doesn’t mean anything by it and I trust that. Try to think of it like my ADD. Like the time I no-showed for a date because I straight up forgot. Sometimes we do things that make it look like we don’t care.
His arm around another woman all night. I thought she was the one he wanted to invite to bed with us and I was pissed. He didn’t even bother to introduce us. He hardly ever bothers to introduce me to anyone. The shit we do that makes it look like we don’t care. I spend all night trying to look like I didn’t care, until I couldn’t. Until I hunted him down in the bathroom.
He did introduce me to the woman we went to bed with. Not because he planned to take her to bed, but because he knew she’d love the crucified doll around my neck. He introduces me when it really counts.
He looks at me when it really counts.
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I had to run to the bathroom and puke in the middle of our sexy body tangle. All those drugs and all that moaning my throat got so dry I started gagging on it. Water, I needed water. We’re out of water. Bathroom. Puke. Listerine gargle. Water chug. Get back to it.
She is on top of him when I come back in. Pure pale female back at me. I’m giddy with my lack of jealousy. My lips start to ache around a smile that won’t go away. My hair brush on his nightstand, where I keep it. I keep things at his house. I am important. I have a sense of permanence.
Pull the bristles of my brush up and down her back like scratches. The way the whole body is erotic when you’re that turned on. The way the world of sensation becomes erotic. I’ve masturbated with this hair brush. Makes me giggle. Someone’s fingers in me, I’m really loving not knowing who’s they are. I can feel the pleasure he is giving her. In the way her body moves between us, in way fingers move inside me.
A trilogy of bodies.
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He says something about how pure all the females are in these movies. I say that the great eye of Sauron looks like a giant fire pussy. We’re both right. What I want is to do is kiss every inch of him. What I want is to do run my fingers over the skin and hair on his chest, stomach, arms, legs. What I want to do is feel the veins in his wrist and the pulse there. What I want to do is hold his hand with a little something extra.
I do all of these things. I do these things soft, treating his worn down body with care. To make him feel special, important to me. To make me feel special.
Special like a smile in the middle of a threesome. Special like a hairbrush on the night stand. Special like kissing me when everyone is around. Special like a day spent with cuddles and movies and come downs. And how all that can get sucked into the deep black at the center of my giant fire pussy.
How it feels like it means nothing when he won’t look at me all night.
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Read the previous installment of In This Body, "Face to Face Fucking" here.
Header image courtesy of Feliz Paloma Gonzalez. To view his photo essay "Forest Skin," go here.