Poetry Report: $24 Billion

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“Fred and Tim: A Parody of an Actual Political Party”

This week we found out that it costs $24 billion to make a political party synonymous with an idiotic negotiator.

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Fred and Tim in the Grocery Store Parking Lot


Tim: Where are my Skittles?

Fred: I couldn't get them because
the grocery store is on fire.

Tim: On fire? Wait.
Did you
try to get them for free
by threatening to turn
the store into a raging inferno
only known to the sickened sinners
in the darkest circles of hell,
where flames lick the haunches without ceasing,
where capital gains are taxed,
where boiling blood pours from the eyes
where anyone who is sick
can get affordable health care,
where you have to fly coach
and there is equal pay for equal work
and hell zombies and
runaway toenail fungus?

Fred: Yep. I told 'em.

Tim: So what did you get?

Fred: Nothin'.

Tim: Nothing? Again?
Ah man,
we're running out
of grocery stores.

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