In Case You Didn't Hear
On the Phone With Credit Card Company Representatives
My family has a history of challenging experiences while on the phone with credit card representatives, meaning, my mother attempted to call a credit card company once and had a challenging experience.
She dialed the 1-800 number, was subjected to the typical grocery store/elevator/hold muzac for several minutes, then asked to "press 1" multiple times, until finally being transferred to an actual human person.
The person asked my mother the usual security questions – Where do you live? Mother’s maiden name? Etc., etc. My mother answered the representative's questions and quickly told him, “I want to know what my balance is.”
“First, I need to know when is your birthday,” he clarified.
“What for? Just tell me my balance,” responded my mother.
“I can’t give you any information without you first stating your birthday.”
My mother stated her birthday in a huff and then sternly requested her balance for the umpteenth time.
“What kind of balance?” inquired the human man person she was speaking to.
“What do you mean what kind? My credit card balance.”
The man on the other end of the line hesitated. He stammered, cautiously informing her, “Uh… I believe it’s… approximately… three-- ”
“No, not approximately,” my mother insisted, losing her patience. “Tell me the exact balance, down to the penny. I want to pay it off.”
“I’ll do my best,” the man assured her. This displeased my mother no end and she made that clear. The man, feeling the intense pressure being put upon him, humbly suggested she contact the credit card company directly.
“What do you mean? That’s what I’ve done,” she pointed out.
“No, ma’am,” he corrected. “You’ve called a psychic hotline.”
So Are Credit Card Company Representatives Psychic?
Either the wires got crossed, my mother dialed incorrectly, or she was looking at an old telephone number. One way or another, my mother had mistakenly reached a psychic hotline instead of the credit card company and was now demanding this beleaguered psychic provide information even Nostradamus would have trouble coming up with. Poor guy, he was probably new on the job, trying to get by. Probably hoping people would ask him questions like, “Does he love me?” or “Do you see any trips in my future?” and instead he gets my mom with, “Tell me my exact credit card balance, now.” And he tried, he started to come up with a figure. We must give him points for that, for the old college try.
My challenging credit card representative experience went well beyond that of a simple wrong number. In fact, its implications and ramifications and other words ending in -ations affect society as a whole, which is why this experience must be shared.
Unlike my mother, I did in fact dial my credit card correctly upon my first attempt. I was calling because there was an unusual charge on my balance, a charge from a ski shop, which made no sense. I frequent ski shops like antelope visit book fairs. When I finally was connected to a live human person, this one being a woman, I began to explain I did not recognize the charge on my balance. She mumbled something unintelligible, so I calmly asked, “What?”
“There’s no need to be argumentative,” she harshly replied. I explained I was not being argumentative, I was simply asking what? because I didn’t hear what she said. She immediately, testily, informed me, “People say ‘Huh?’ when they don’t hear things and ‘What?’ when they’re looking for a fight.”
I made the mistake of asking, “What?” yet again. Oh boy, did that set the geyser off. I really wasn’t in the mood for conflict, I really just wanted to figure out what this ski shop charge was. So I offered my apologies, explained I had meant to ask, “Huh?” both times and as politely as possible asked about the erroneous charge. She accepted my apology, cooled her jets, and helped me.
Somehow I missed this memo. The memo about in polite society people say huh? when they don’t hear things. I fear I am not the only one who missed it. Things get by people. It happens all the time. Just the other day, my mother excitedly called me and told me she discovered something on the Internet that helps you search for things – anything – all you have to do is type it in the search box. “Are you talking about Google?” I asked. Yes, she was… and she couldn’t wait to try it again! This was two weeks ago. It is September 2010 as I am writing this. So Google got by my mom, and Huh? got by me.
In case it got by you too, please note, once again for the record: People say “Huh?” when they don’t hear things. I am concerned a large part of why our country is so divided is because so many people for so long have been asking, “What?” when they don’t hear things. This has led to an untold number of domestic disputes leading to violence. No doubt this hostility has spread across the country, its origins a mystery – similar to how bad things were spreading in that movie The Happening, which I have yet to see but I know it has something to do with bees disappearing and wind being evil.
If you don’t think this is a serious issue worth paying attention to, take note of what occurred recently at the U.S. Open in New York. This all started when a woman asked a man sitting near her for the time, and the man responded with a defiant, “What?”
+++