Everything to Look Forward to Tonight by Rob Gray
Everything to Look Forward to Tonight
It was not until last Tuesday evening that a fifty-eight year old man, whose first name is Phillip and whose middle and surnames I do not know, learned the most important lesson of his life. The lesson was a simple one, as most monumental lessons are. It reads as follows: the anticipation of an event is always more satisfactory than the event itself. Phillip learned this after taking a bite of cold toast, the warmth of which he had been anticipating for several hours.
It is Thursday night. Nine days have passed. During those nine days, Phillip has done nothing but look forward with great pleasure to doing everything. He has cooked breakfast every morning only to watch it get cold enough to throw away. He has dressed himself in warm clothes in preparation for a walk to the park, only to stand by the front door for hours on end, never leaving. He has prepared modest lunches, some intended to be eaten as picnics by the lake in the company of beautiful people. The lunches are now growing mold on the kitchen counter. The beautiful people are elsewhere.
Phillip brushes his teeth every night after not having a nice warm supper and changing into his pajamas. He enjoys thinking about switching on the television. Each day seems to be getting longer and more arduous. He is always excited to lie in his warm bed and fall asleep and thus he never does. He stands in the darkness, fondly anticipating death, an arms length from paradise, basking in the glorious satisfaction of having everything to look forward to and nothing to hold.
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ROBERT DUNCAN GRAY is an English writer, artist and musician who currently lives and works in Portland, OR. His maternal Grandmother once shot herself in the foot in Cyprus. In his free time, Rob does crimes. His favorite film is Bedknobs and Broomsticks. He likes the Wu Tang Clan. He is the proud owner of a Smokey Joe barbecue. He is friends with a rabbit named Stanley Kubrick and a cat named Owl.
Rob can actively think sixteen different thoughts at once and possesses the ability to lie and tell the truth at the very same time. Robert Duncan Gray is what most Yiddish fluent housewives might call a Luftmensch. He lives in Portland, Oregon, and performed as the musical guest for Smalldoggies Reading Series PDX008 at The Globe, as well as a featured writer for Smalldoggies Reading Series PDX012 at the Blue Monk.