Deathwish 051: Kathyrn

Editor Matty Byloos, Editor's Choice, March 31st, 2017

"...I panicked on the fourth day when I realized..."

Kathryn Essay Nailed Magazine


Nobody is afraid to die until somebody tells you you’re dying. Nobody’s afraid because nobody thinks it’s going to happen. Even geriatrics will look at you, shocked, when they wake up and you tell them they have a blood clot. Alcoholics will wonder how when the doctors says it’s your liver.

Chained to an IV and separated from the rest of the world by two doors that locked from the outside, I was afraid when I woke up in the middle of the first night with twelve residents standing above me. I was frustrated on the second day when my parents didn’t even leave me alone to pee. I was forlorn on the third day when my friends still hadn’t come to visit me. I panicked on the fourth day when I realized that not a single person in this hospital had never seen this particular infection get this bad. On the fifth day, after watching a nurse carve puss and blood from my arm, I looked in the mirror for the first time in a week without crying, inexplicably relieved knowing that less swelling meant a smaller chance of this infection reaching my brain.

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To read the previous installment, “Deathwish 050: Barrett”, go here. To participate in Deathwish, find details here.

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Kathryn was born in Augusta, Georgia, and currently lives in Yelets, Russia.


Matty Byloos

Matty Byloos is Co-Publisher and a Contributing Editor for NAILED. He was born 7 days after his older twin brother, Kevin Byloos. He is the author of 2 books, including the novel in stories, ROPE ('14 SDP), and the collection of short stories, Don't Smell the Floss ('09 Write Bloody Books).